


please just send them all my way

by vesselera



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Absent Parents, M/M, Malnutrition, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 05:15:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7086841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesselera/pseuds/vesselera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>light, a grassy knoll, and 3:47 am.</p>
            </blockquote>





	please just send them all my way

**Author's Note:**

> this shouldn't be too graphic, but in case you're triggered by anything in the tags, i suggest you turn around now.
> 
> this is heavily inspired by a car, a torch, a death by twenty one pilots.
> 
> (sorry this is so short, i might do an extension later)

It was 3:47 in the morning, and the only thing to be heard in the sleepy neighborhood was the hum of an engine. Besides the streetlight, a pair of headlights was the only thing lighting up the road as the car made it's way to the intersection leading to the highway.

Tyler constantly needed solace from his mind, so he'd drive up north to this special place on the top of a grassy knoll in the early hours of the morning. It was perfect for stargazing and removing yourself from everything.

Tonight, his thoughts were wandering into oblivion. As he watched the other lane going southward on the highway, the headlights became a blur to him. A big stream of light was all that he saw from the left of his peripheral vision, and it was entrancing. What if he just unlocked the door and joined them? Became the stream of light? It would be beautiful. 

But, he stayed in the car, stayed on the road, and continued to distract his mind from that stream of light. And within a few miles (eight miles exactly according to his odometer, he always counted to make sure there was no discrepancies), he was finally at the place that gave him salvation. As he turned off the exit, the stream of light got smaller and duller until it was gone. 

The air was especially thin that night. 

He stepped out of the car, double-triple-quadruple checking the lock to make sure that it was locked. Good. 

Taking a seat on the grass, he started picking at the grass around him, looking down at the highway below. The streams of light are right in his view now, moving along the horizon in opposite directions. The entrancing feeling is back. Every little stream is a person (or even people) who is traveling to somewhere new. Maybe it's familiar to them, maybe it's not. Each of them had a story, and what did Tyler have? Nothing. He lived his life in pure routine - get up, eat breakfast, play video games, go to sleep - repeating over and over again day after day. He had no real purpose in life. He had no—

His train of thought was shattered by a shadow looming over his. The figure of a person seemed to be behind him, and when he turned around, there was one.

The male had disheveled colored hair and a curious look on his face. His posture was closed off, a slight slouch beckoning his shoulders forward. The glow from the highway below made him look majestic. 

But, Tyler jumped at the sight. A small noise came from his mouth as he was frightened by the new figure. 

"I— I didn't know anyone else would be out here right now." the unknown male stated in a half whisper. 

"Usually I'm the only one here." Tyler said bluntly. 

"I didn't know someone else knew my special spot."

A pause causes a deafening silence to fill the air as Tyler thought. 

"It's my special spot." he finally replied. 

"Well," the mysterious figure began as he sat down next to Tyler, "it can be our special spot then. You and I can be the only ones who know it."

The darkness of the night had been hiding his face before. Now Tyler could see his face better. He could see that there were dried up tears on his face. He had been crying. 

The air was becoming thinner and thinner. 

"What's your name?" he asked cautiously. "I have to know the name of someone who's sharing my special spot with."

"Josh." the male replied, a confident nod coming with the name. "And you are?"

"Tyler."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Tyler."

He simply nodded, letting silence fill the air. Why was Josh crying? Not wanting to press too hard, he tried to ease the conversation to the subject. 

"What brings you here?"

A small "hm" emitted from Josh's lips before he processed what he said. "Oh, I was just having a rough night. I wanted to get away from the people at my house."

It wasn't until then that Tyler realized that Josh was fiddling with a bracelet on his right arm. 

"What's that?" he asks with a slight uptone in his voice, pointing to the bracelet. 

"Something I got from my grandma, it's part of what brought me here." Josh's eyes were square on the bracelet, small hearts embroidered on the grey fabric.

A pause. 

"Hey, Tyler, I hate to ask, but—" he stopped to take off the bracelet, "can you perhaps take this with you for the night? I don't want it to be broken at my house."

Tyler nodded with uncertainty, the bracelet suddenly dropping into his hand. Josh stood up abruptly, and Tyler felt his stomach drop with his motion. "I should get going. Can you meet me here at this time tomorrow night?"

Another nod came from the sitting man, and Josh waved to him silently before retreating into the brush that was bordering the knoll. He, too, got up when Josh was out of view. Getting back into the car, he put the bracelet in the back, making sure it was safe and sound, and drove back home. 

—

The next night, at 3:47 in the morning, Tyler got back on the road to go see Josh again. By the time he got there, Josh was already there. His posture was straighter, and he seemed quite happy. 

"You actually came." Josh said, a tint of euphoria and disbelief resounding in his voice.

There were less cars on the road now than the night before. The streams of light were more like blips on a radar. 

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked matter-of-factly as he showed Josh the bracelet. 

And for the first time, he saw the bright-haired male smile. 

He had a genuine type of smile. It was almost a bit too wide, but it was contagious. 

"Thank you." he said, giving him a nod. "Somehow I knew you'd keep it safe."

A pause. The deafening silence was lighter than the night before. 

"How do you get here? Is there something behind those woods?" Tyler asked, hands retreating to his pockets. 

"Mhm, my house is. If you get through that thick brush there, I've created a path to get from there to here." he says, pointing towards the thick forest. 

"Oh, I didn't know that."

More light silence came after that. The blips of light would usually distract him, but not now. Josh was distracting him. 

—

This ritual went on for two months. Every night or so, the two would meet at the grassy knoll atop the highway. Tyler would always leave at 3:47 in the morning to get to the place on time. 

Sometimes Josh wouldn't be there, but that was alright. He would just sit there for a few minutes, then get up and leave once his mind was clear.

He had learned a lot about the man. Josh grew up with his grandma taking care of him. She was a sweet old woman who always made sure he was well-fed and happy. This all changed a few months ago when she died. Because of that, Josh went to live with his mother (or as Josh called her, "the demon"). She wasn't abusive more so that she was inattentive. She didn't care about him, barely  
made him meals, and didn't make sure he was okay. This neglect caused Josh to become a recluse. He didn't have many friends. That was why he wanted Tyler around every night. He found his own solace in him. 

One night, Josh came four minutes after Tyler did, a flashlight in his hand. The warm glow almost looked like a torch as he made his way through the brush. 

"Hey." Tyler said, a grin appearing on his face. Josh always made him smile. 

But, when he came out of the darkness his face was stoic. There was yelling coming from the other side of the woods. 

"Mom hasn't given me food all day and wouldn't let me into the kitchen." he said quietly. "If you come with me, maybe she'll feed both of us."

Tyler didn't have enough time to say anything, as Josh already grabbed his wrist and was leading him into the dark trees. The only thing leading him was the orange glow of the makeshift torch. Somehow, he didn't feel unsafe right now. His nerves were calmed with the feeling of Josh's hand, which made it's way to interlace with his. All he focused on was walking through the forest, trying not to trip or step on anything. He looked back into the darkness - his car was out of sight by now. 

After a few moments of silent traveling, there was the sight of a small, unkempt house in a clearing. On the porch was a thin woman, her hair disheveled and her pajamas still on. The demon. 

"Joshua, it's three in the morning!" she yelled into the darkness with clear irritation in her voice. 

As they got closer, Tyler kept his frame small.

"Who's this?" the woman says, stepping down from the porch. 

"Mom, this is Tyler." Josh said, motioning towards the man next to him. A small wave from Tyler accompanied this gesture.

"He's going to be staying the night."

Stay the night? As he looked over at the other (who's hand was still in his) he could see desperation in his eyes. So, he nodded quickly at the words. 

"Oh—" his mom started, but before she could mutter anything else, Josh interrupted. 

"Since we have a guest, can we get something to eat?"

"But, Josh, it's way too la—"

"Mom."

Josh's voice was colder than Tyler had ever heard. It actually gave him shivers down his spine. There was pain laden throughout that simple word. He could feel the pure hatred. 

"Alright, come on in."

So, the two stepped inside the house. There were stacks of papers climbing up the walls, a slight accumulation of dishes in the sink, and lines of dust on the windowsills. The house was really in disarray. On the contrary, Josh always kept himself well-groomed, and Tyler noticed. 

It wasn't until they sat down at the table, only illuminated by an overhead lamp with two of the four bulbs out, that Josh finally released his hand from Tyler's. There was instantly a void that he felt quite evidently in the palm of his hand. It eventually spread up through his arm and into his entire being. Nothingness. He found himself looking over at the bright-haired man across from him for direction, but he only received emptiness in his eyes. 

After a few moments of tense silence (not like the light and airy one that they experienced on the grassy knoll), the demon returned with a small helping of ramen noodles for the both of them. Josh's eyes lit up, and he could see plainly that the other really hadn't eaten in awhile. The way Josh lightly sprung forward at the plate for a moment before retreating. His misplaced gaze made it's way back to Tyler's eventually. 

"I— here, you take what you want first." Josh said rather quietly. 

"I'm not that hungry." Tyler replied, moving his hands to his pockets. "You can have it all."

With those words, Josh quickly pulled over the plate and started scarfing down the food as if it were his first meal in days. That statement probably wasn't that far off, Tyler presumed. As the other ate, Tyler glanced more around the house from his seat. How could a place so quaint in such a peaceful area become so disheveled? The whole house seemed tired, sluggishly carrying on with it's life with no value or purpose. He also saw that in Josh.

When he was done, Tyler stood up with the direction of the taller male before making their way to where his mother was. 

"Mom," Josh said, putting his hands through his messy locks of hair. "we're going to bed."

The woman did not acknowledge her son at all, just uttering a short "mhm" while flickering through channels on her static-ridden television. At that phrase, Tyler felt his hand being grasped by the other. The void that had crept through his body receded — he felt whole again. 

The two walked down the slightly-too-narrow hall into a room that was relatively well-kept (sans the piles of dirty laundry that had been discarded on the floor and the remains of used-up makeup). 

"She isn't gonna know that we crept in here, but I can't have both of us sleeping on my cot in my room." 

Tyler was so distracted by his surroundings that when he turned around he didn't realize that Josh was simply in his boxers. He stopped for a moment, taking in the sight before finally stammering out something. 

"I could sleep on the floor." he said quietly, his hands automatically shoving into his front pockets. "I don't mind."

These words were met with an immediate head shake from Josh. "No, I— I don't want to do that to you."

Tyler simply gave him a shrug before pulling off his own shirt. A small pang of excitement ripped through his chest as he got situated in the bed. Josh turned the light off and hopped under the blankets, leaving a small gap between them. 

It was silent for a bit, and he just watched the other's silhouette in the darkness. It was obvious that Josh was staring right back. Finally, he decided to speak. 

"What's your purpose?"

"Hm?" Josh replied, almost as if he was snapping out of a daze. 

"What's your purpose?" he repeated.

The other let out a great sigh, and Tyler was curious of his answer. His purpose could be anything — it was a very open-ended question. The atmosphere of the night, however, led for this thought from Tyler. The darkness bred thought for him. He wanted to know all about Josh. What made him tick? What made him upset? What makes him smile?

At that moment, he focused back on the figure across from him as words started coming from his mouth. "You."

His eyes instantly widen at the single word. 

"What?"

"You're my purpose."

At that point, Tyler jolted to an upright position, hands clutching to the covers as he couldn't face the other anymore without breaking into a blush so bright that even the darkness couldn't hide it. He stared straight ahead at the blank wall, only muttering, "What do you mean?"

"Well," Josh began, "before I met you, I was kind of existing. Now that I know you better and we've been hanging out for a long time, I kinda live to see you." His voice got quiet. "I mean, I don't know."

Tyler finally mustered the courage to look over at the man, only because he too sprung up from his position in the bed. His posture was relaxed, and he was fiddling with the heart bracelet that he held so dear. Tyler never felt more comfortable around a person.

"When I went out to that place by the highway, it was usually to be alone." he pauses for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "Hell, it was always to be alone. But, I had no idea that the best person in my life was living right behind the trees." 

It was at that point when he realized just how close Josh was to him. So much so that when Josh leaned forward, his forehead was against Tyler's. So much so that when he looked into the other's eyes, he saw light in them for the first time that night. All the emptiness from facing his mother and his demons vanished. It was at that moment that Josh's lips crashed against his gently, and in that moment, Tyler was weightless.

He felt chills in his bones.

—

As fall turned to winter, Tyler saw the other less frequently. He wouldn't come around as often, and when he did, he was frailer than usual with each passing week. His once muscular visage had turned into a thin wasteland. There was a tiredness in his eyes. So, Tyler tried to take care of him as much as possible. After all, that was his purpose. He made sure to always pack plenty of food in his car with him.

On this particular day, Josh hadn't been around in about a week. Somehow he still found his way back to the knoll overlooking the highway. A light powder had formed over the road, and the streams of light were intercepted by snowflakes falling from above. With each breath, the condensation flowed out like smoke, relieving the insides of himself as he got more and more worried about the man he cared so deeply about. His state wasn't good and he didn't want anything to happen to the other. 

As he was focusing on the highway, each passing car going slower than usual due to the precipitation, he didn't notice the slight crackle of footsteps from behind him, nor did he notice when someone sat beside him. It wasn't until he saw the same  
smoke-like breath coming from next to him did he realize that the breath he saw was not his own.

Looking over, he saw Josh. His expression was weary and he seemed worn out. Too worn out. The type that came with lack of sleep and lack of food and lack of love. 

"Josh..." he muttered, wrapping his arms around the rather bony frame of the other. He let himself melt into the boy, whose hair was fading in color more and more each passing day. Josh simply held on for dear life with a grip that was more desperate than loving. 

"Tyler, I— I have to get out of here."

"I know you do."

He noticed the familiar torch-like flashlight in his hand, though it was a lot dimmer than before. Everything was a lot dimmer than before. 

"Y'know, I can't keep living like this. I'm not sleeping, I'm not eating, I'm just sitting there and staring at nothing. This skin, this vessel I have that keeps my insides in —that wraps my frame—"

He paused to let out a dry-sounding cough, and that made Tyler hold on to him even tighter. 

"—it's not made to play this game. It's not meant to take this type of abuse."

Tyler nodded in return, peppering him with a few loving kisses. 

"I think I have a plan."

Josh then decided to describe in detail his great escape. At the same time they usually were out at night, Josh would distract his mother and meet Tyler at the knoll. From there, they would get into the car and drive far away. Tyler would have to be packed in advance. There was no turning back. They would leave their old lives behind and start something new. 

"—and if all else fails..." Josh added before abruptly being stopped by Tyler. 

"No. It's going to work Josh. If it doesn't, I'll take the grave. I can't stand you being in that hell house any longer."

A firm nod came from Josh, but then the two were startled by a loud crash. Tyler looked around frantically, but the other seemed less concerned. 

"Ah, don't worry about that. It's just branches falling off the trees. The snow gets too heavy and they just— boom."

"Can't that hurt someone?"

"Well, sure, but no one's around enough to get crushed by one." Cue a small laugh from the frail boy. "I'm the only one that ever goes through these woods anyways."

After about an hour of talking, kissing, and dreaming, it was time for the both of them to turn in. Tyler stood up and wiped the snow off his jeans while the other started speaking. 

"So, tomorrow we're going to head out. I want you to take this jar." He handed him an empty peanut butter jar that rattled slightly when it shook. "Don't open it until we leave and we're far away from here. It's something I want you to have."

Tyler gave him a nod, a small smile accompanying it. "I'll see you tomorrow, Josh."

"I'll see you tomorrow." he replied, giving him a half-grin that Tyler absolutely melted over. 

Tyler turned around, the jar tucked in his arm, as he was about to walk away. Suddenly he heard a voice. "Tyler?"

He looked back and saw Josh still standing there. "Yeah?"

A small pause occurred, as if Josh was mustering something to say words. It took a bit before he finally spoke. 

"I love you."

His heart fluttered, and he felt warm despite the cold outside. 

"I love you, too. Now, goodnight."

—

The big day ended up being the worst day of Tyler's life. He woke up as early as he could that day — it had to have been one in the morning. Looking outside, he couldn't see anything but white. The snow was falling from the sky with the utmost force, and it was basically a white out. But still, he got dressed, got some food into his system, and started on his way. He couldn't see the streaks of light through the flurry of snowflakes flying through the air, and after sliding and slipping through the highway, he made it to their special spot. It was covered in about eight inches of snow, so sitting down was not quite an option for him. So he stood outside his car, waiting for the tired boy to meet him. His eyes were focused on the woods, waiting for the morning to begin as the sun rose above the highway behind him. 

2 a.m. came and went, and 2:58, the silence that had been gracing him for an hour and twenty seven minutes was broken by a crash coming from the woods. Another tree limb. He didn't look too much into it — Josh said not to worry about it. So though his heartbeat was going a bit faster, he kept watching the woods for a sign of Josh. 

With two gone and three passing right by, Tyler was getting worried. More tree branches were falling with the weight of the snow, but the white out was becoming less intense. 

At 3:47, Tyler was extremely impatient. It was getting extremely cold, and he just wanted to get going. He wanted to start his new life. He wanted the spontaneity that Josh had promised. He wanted to spend nights building pillow forts. He wanted to spend mornings covering every inch of Josh in kisses and love.

He decided to descend into the wood. Usually he wouldn't have done that, but he wanted to find Josh: his purpose. 

He wanted to spend summer days walking endlessly together talking about the world.

As he crept through the forest, an eerily unsettling silence filled the air. He got through the brush and started on the small path Josh had created for himself. 

He wanted to fall asleep in his arms. 

After a bit of walking, Tyler was met with red. Red stains on the ground, red stains on the trees, red stains on Josh. He was under a branch, and there was dried blood trailing from his mouth. Yet he still looked peaceful, like he was sleeping. 

But, his body was cold and stiff. There was no movement of his chest that looked like it had burst from the impact of the branch. Tyler couldn't lift it up— he couldn't do anything but scream and sob and kiss the blood-stained mouth of the boy he loved so much. The trees betrayed him.

—

He didn't wait for the police or the ambulance or the coroner. He didn't wait for anyone. He wanted to start his new life with Josh. 

So, he ran as fast as he could to the car, and was about to start it up when he saw the jar Josh had given him on the seat. It stuck out through his teary eyes, and it compelled him to open it. On the inside was the one thing Josh held dear: the bracelet embroidered with hearts. Sobs came flowing in waves now as he held the bracelet to his heart before putting it on. 

And with that he started to the highway. The stream of light was prevalent today, and the snow had stopped enough to make it visible to the other side of the road. He hated snow. He hated the trees. He hated that grassy knoll and this highway. He hated it all. 

He decided to join the stream of light. With the click of the door, he tumbled out of his moving car to the other side of the highway. 

But, he fell short. 

Who knew falling out of a car going 60 miles per hour would bloody you up so much? With a broken nose, blood dripping from his elbows and knees, and a raging headache, Tyler curled up on the road and screamed for his life. He screamed for Josh. He screamed as drivers stopped and got out. The stream of light stopped as good samaritans tried to help him to his feet. Words such as "I want to die" and "Kill me now" poured from the damaged man's lips. 

And he began to understand why God died.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading.
> 
> any mistakes you catch can be brought to my attention and would be appreciated.


End file.
